Written by someone other than Ozma. Table of Contents 1) Channels 2) Authoritah 3) Getting Help and Learning 4) Private Messages 5) /Commands Owner 6) General 1) Channels #1 You are not worthy. #2 Clan tags are forbidden. Do not use them. #3 If you use clan tags, you will be seen as an idiot. Expect this. e.g. [LD]Jirachier #4 Learn how to moderate a channel before owning one. #5 Services are no substitute for knowing how to be a good channel op. #6 Do not complain that one of your channel ops has banned you. #7 If you ban yourself, do not ask how to unban yourself. You shouldn't be OP'ing anyways. #8 Access whoring is not allowed. #9 Do not ask why someone is banned. #10 Do not ask when they will be unbanned. #11 Do not ask if you can be banned. #12 Do not then ask if you can be unbanned. #14 Do not join channels in which you have not been invited. #14 You are not special if you have access on #Indigo Plateau. #15 If you do not know what #Indigo Plateau is, you are lucky. #16 If you want to find out, /join #Indigo Plateau. #17 If you managed to somehow get in and find that wasn't that bad, /join #Tohjo Falls. #18 You are now dead. 2) Authoritah #1 Do not ask if you can become an Auth. #1 Do not ask why we are not incrementing rule numbers. #2 If you do not know what increment means, please /quit. It will decrease the number of idiots who use PO. #2 Do not complain that Auth can join more channels than you. It is best that you are limited, for everyone's sake. #3 Do not ban Auth from your channel, then later join #help and ask how to do something. #4 Owners are not obligated to help you. They are obligated to keep server from splitting, so complain at will if they fail. #5 Don't complain, however, if they rageban you in response. #6 If you troll an Auth, good luck getting unbanned. #7 If you openly state that you hate the Auth on the network, that is open invitation for them to ban you. #8 Never expect an Auth to be helpful, they have better things to do. #9 Do not ask the Auth if they get paid unless you are willing to send them $5. 3) Getting Help and Learning #1 For God's sake, lern2google fgt. #2 Do not ask in #Help how to join channels, just /quit. #3 Do not join #Help without a brain. #4 If you do not have one, please go find one. #5 If you cannot find one, go steal it from someone else. #6 If you get banned from #help, you screwed up somewhere and should ask your parents why they didn't abort. #7 If you cannot form a question properly - do not ask it. #8 Do not ask a question if you aren't willing to google first. #9 Do not become angry if Ozma cannot help you. It's probably your fault. #10 Learn /rules and /commands before /commands mod and /commands /megauser #11 If you do not know what ownage is, please /quit. #12 If you do know what ownage is, please /die. #13 If you do not know what b& means, join #help and insult the Ozma. 4) Private Messages #1 If someone asks "asl?", always reply that you are female. It is more fun that way. #2 Note: females on PO do not exist. #3 If someone private messages you randomly, ask why they are pmsing. If they don't get it you should promptly /ignore. #4 Otherwise, reply with random responses until they rage quit. #5 Always get consent before sending a PM to a user. Else it's considered rape. #6 Refusal to follow #5 leads to you being violated by your cell mate. 5) /Commands Owner #1 Do not ask about owner commands. #2 Do not attempt to use owner commands. #3 Do not join #help and ask why you cannot use owner commands. #4 Do not ask about why you can't ask about owner commands. #5 Do not even think about owner commands, as they will not think about you. #6 Do not even read this section. #7 coyotte508, DN, Crystal Moogle and zeroality are exempt from all aforementioned rules. 6) General #1 IP != Host. #2 Do not connect to PO if you are under the age of 13. #3 If you are under the age of 13, promptly notify the server pedophile. #4 If you do not know what PO stands for, please /quit. #5 Use memes responsibly. #6 PO relationships do not exist. #7 PO stalking is never a good thing to do and Ozma will smite you for it, but it can be lulzy if you are doing it right. #8 Do not keep an ownage score for yourself if you cannot count above 20 without assistance. #9 If you are a PO guru and don't like helping people, you are one of the lucky ones. Pray and thank whatever God you believe in every day. #10 It is not a botnet, they are spambots. Idiot. #11 Use everything in moderation, too much of a bad thing can get you banned. #12 As such, too much of a good thing can get you to quit IRL forever. #13 If you manage to get killed by Defender, you sir are retarded. #14 If you do not know what Defender is, join #donotjoin. #15 Do not join #donotjoin. #16 Refrain from speaking if you are a Guest. #17 Oak runs this. #18 Real trolls do not ever speak in channels. #19 You have been trolled. #20 for (int i = 26; i < 1990; i++); #23 Ozma cannot count.