The Epic Battle of Seppuku

Discussion in 'Pokémon Chat' started by Cheezeburgar, Sep 7, 2016.

  1. Cheezeburgar

    Cheezeburgar dankest john

    Joined:
    May 27, 2012
    Messages:
    235
    Likes Received:
    578
    PO Trainer Name:
    John
    "Hey guys look, a metronome forum tour is starting and it's a fun memeage stupid tier let's partake in it!"

    Either the greatest or the worst decision of my po career.

    Shoutouts @DracoNova
    IT ALL STARTS TURN ONE

    The chaos ensued when I not only confused him with psybeam but he got so confused about life that his dusknoir got tired of taking crap from @DracoNova and decided to end it's life infront of him, giving the nice Turn 2 6-5 lead.

    Bless Lil B based god luck G
    [​IMG]
    But then my togekiss decides to join dusknoir on the other side!

    I hadn't even used more than two attacking moves when togekiss decided it was done with MY crap and wanted to greet its lil bud dusknoir at the heavenly gates. Keep in mind I haven't even switched for another pokemon to benefit off this healing wish, what a waste! Battle is now tied at 5-5 because of an annoyed togekiss.

    Seriously 4 turns later, and I had the edge in the battle with more damage output

    [​IMG]
    And behold, again 4 turns later!

    4 must be a magic number or something because Lil B Based God Luck G came back to me and blessed me with some celebi magic. Thankfully I had enough hp and defense to tank that self-destruct and a few hits after it. But seriously, I bet they're starting a club up there wherever these RIP'd mons are. Battle score is now 5-4 in my favor.

    Oh hey look maybe luck is coming back to me

    [​IMG]

    JK LOL NO YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE GETTING LUCKY?

    Only TWO turns later this time! Apparently mew doesn't know the difference between ROLLOUT and HEALING WISH! Another wasted healing wish too because all my mons were at full health. I guess when mewtwo decided to roleplay as mew, the game broke because there can only be one. Whoopdedoo, 4-4 tied again, 100% of KOs coming from Self KOs.

    Ok there's a pattern I'm seeing, maybe he will use memento next?

    [​IMG]
    I should quit the battle at this point nothing cool is happening and I have an 8 am class


    It happens to my mon this time, so the pattern got broken. Oh well, I'm used to seeing my own pokemon sacrifice themselves for nothing right in front of me at this point. Is that a good thing? Battle is now 2-3 favoring him, since my celebi and his mew died fighting an ACTUAL BATTLE.

    Shoutouts jinora for big suck

    [​IMG]
    Maybe I'm winning now?

    Before this, I took out his jirachi and mewtwo by several strategical and smart damage over time plays, like the genius battler I am. I even realized that I ACCIDENTALLY set up stealth rocks while devising my master plan to win this by Self KO. But oh well, my snorlax was dying of starvation anyways and had to go. Herecomes the 1 on 1 for the game win.

    Enjoy this picture of a goat.
    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
    INSERT MAXIMUM CROBAT RAGE HERE

    Lucky noob pokemon mechanics prevented that fat piece of lard from KO'ing itself I have no other words for this trash garbage it's about to die anyway.

    Shoutouts Espy for actualy being cool though

    [​IMG]
    I'm not even going to write anything below this


    Just a little copy paste from earlier in the battle:

    mankey-t: REVEAL
    Hax>Skills: use memento pls
    mankey-t: FINAL GAMBIT

    I will never speak during battle ever again

    I swear draciel is part of the illuminati

    [​IMG]
    Just a reminder that 7/12 mons decided to comit honorable sudoku, that's 58% of all the KO's.

    Full battle Pastebin here
     
  2. Duster

    Duster dodgerswin 2018

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2013
    Messages:
    378
    Likes Received:
    699
    Fuck Draciel
     
    snaga, Water, buny and 6 others like this.
  3. DracoNova

    DracoNova Cherlene's #1 fan

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2013
    Messages:
    183
    Likes Received:
    163
    PO Trainer Name:
    DracoNova
    Fuck Draciel and it was a battle of the seppukus
     
    Water and Cheezeburgar like this.
  4. Joyverse

    Joyverse Back for a blast!

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2014
    Messages:
    1,517
    Likes Received:
    909
    PO Trainer Name:
    Joyverse
    #DicksOut4Mankey-T

    Sigh they were following the ways of Lord Harambe even though he didn't kill himself... fuck :c
     
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2016
    Water and Cheezeburgar like this.
  5. Draciel

    Draciel ALLEZ! ALLEZ! ALLEZ!

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2013
    Messages:
    865
    Likes Received:
    1,892
    PO Trainer Name:
    Neo
    what the fuck leave me out of your orgy
     
    Cheezeburgar likes this.
  6. buny

    buny heartbreak hotel

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2014
    Messages:
    91
    Likes Received:
    230
    PO Trainer Name:
    buny
    This was the greatest thing I've ever read
     
    DracoNova and Cheezeburgar like this.
  7. pokemonnerd

    pokemonnerd Only uso listens to pnerd. Devo too. Article Contributor Article Contributor

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2010
    Messages:
    2,896
    Likes Received:
    888
    Acceptance into an orgy is one of the sincerest forms of flattery, @Draciel.
     
  8. Annoying Orange

    Annoying Orange sweet creature Social Media Rep Social Media Rep

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2010
    Messages:
    1,740
    Likes Received:
    869
    PO Trainer Name:
    Annoying Orange
    scrubs I'm still metro god