(under Review) DBZ

Discussion in 'Review' started by MewtwoHidden, Dec 7, 2012.

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  1. MewtwoHidden

    MewtwoHidden My Hax Makes Me Famous

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    Ok The Awaited by Many DBZ theme Is finally complete With help from Crystal moogle, Praixie, Sky Sentinel, and a specific person who requested I not name him This Code is Now Under Review
    A bunch of people including myself Have put a lot of work into this so I hope it passes through Review intact

    Paste-Bin
     
    Last edited: Dec 8, 2012
  2. Sky Sentinel

    Sky Sentinel You see?

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    Z-Fighters

    Goku (Samurai)
    Help Text: You are the most powerful Z-Fighter, so you get an nonrevealing daykill-- type /kill during the standby phase! Since you are so loved, you have 3 votes.
    Abilities:

    Standby Actions:
    Kill: User is not revealed.


    Piccolo (BG)
    Help Text: You are sided with the Z-fighters! Protect them by using the command /protect.
    Abilities:

    Night Actions:
    Protect:
    Knows Bulma.


    Vegeta (Exposer)
    Help Text: Type /expose during the day to expose a person's role.
    Abilities:

    Standby Actions:
    Expose: User is not revealed.


    Bulma (PL)
    Help Text: Type /distract to make someone unable to use commands for a night! Watch out for Kid Buu.
    Abilities:

    Night Actions:
    Distract:


    Gohan (inspector)
    Help Text: Type /inspect at night to gain the knowledge of someone's identity!
    Abilities:

    Night Actions:
    Inspect:
    Knows Gohan.


    Civilian (villager)
    Help Text: You are a civilian.. you don't matter at all but you can still vote I guess...
    Abilities:


    Mr. Buu (Mayor)
    Help Text: You're Mr. Buu! You have 5 votes :P You also know Kid Buu!
    Abilities:

    Vote counts as 5.
    Knows Kid Buu.


    Hercule (Hercule)
    Help Text: As long as you live you win because you are SATAN .... I mean MR. SATAN
    Win Conditions:

    If the following sides win: Z-Fighters, Androids or Frieza.

    Abilities:

    Vote counts as 2.



    Frieza

    Frieza (MafiaBoss1)
    Help Text: You are the destroyer of galaxies, but that would be unfair, so we had to stick to giving you a daykill :P
    Abilities:

    Standby Actions:
    Kill: User is not revealed.


    King Cold (Mayor1)
    Help Text: you have no action but you have 5 votes for being a king!
    Abilities:

    Vote counts as 5.


    Cooler (Mafia1)
    Help Text: Prove that you are stronger then your brother Frieza! Type /kill to kill someone even the mighty Frieza himself! (that would be a bad decision, though...)
    Abilities:

    Night Actions:
    Kill:


    Zarbon (Safeguard1)
    Help Text: Frieza is your king; protect him with /safeguard!
    Abilities:

    Night Actions:
    Safeguard:
    Knows teammates.



    Androids

    Dr. Gero (poisoner2)
    Help Text: Type /poison to envenom somebody up to ten times a game!
    Abilities:

    Night Actions:
    Poison: Kills after 1 days. Can be used 10 times during the game.
    Knows teammates.


    Cell (MafiaBoss2)
    Help Text: Type /kill at night to kill somebody! You ignore distractions and outspeed Piccolo.
    Abilities:

    Night Actions:
    Kill:
    Can't be distracted.


    Android #18 (BG2)
    Help Text: Type /protect at night to protect an ally You share a kill with #17! You know your teammates, so make sure you connect with them!
    Abilities:

    Night Actions:
    Kill:
    Protect:
    Knows teammates.


    Android #17 (Inspector2)
    Help Text: Type /inspect to learn what a person's role is! You also share a kill with #18.
    Abilities:

    Night Actions:
    Kill: Shared with team.
    Inspect:



    Kid Buu's Mafia

    Kid Buu (FakeExposer3)
    Help Text: You can expose someone in the day... impersonating Vegeta!
    Abilities:

    Standby Actions:
    Expose1: Expose. User is not revealed.
    Expose2: Expose. User is not revealed.
    Expose3: Expose. User is not revealed.


    Demon King Dabaru (Mayor3)
    Help Text: You don't get any actions, because your team is already overpowered... but you do get 10 votes!
    Abilities:

    Vote counts as 10.


    Babidi (Morpher3)
    Help Text: type /morph [name] to make anybody (that isn't already) your slave :P
    Abilities:

    Night Actions:
    Morph: Convert. Has a 60% chance of failing.
    Can convert to Babidi Slave (Any role).


    Babidi Slave (Slave)
    Help Text: Babidi transformed you now you can do ..... Nothing.
    Abilities:
    roles summary for the sake of saving time
     
  3. Beast

    Beast I do what I want

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    What is the code box for? You should definitely take that out. You should add what Sky did to the original post along with a link to the pastebin. The pastebin is what we use to put stuff on the server so we need to know you have one. :)

    I will come back later after said things are fixed.
     
  4. MewtwoHidden

    MewtwoHidden My Hax Makes Me Famous

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    So Anybody want to Review?:(
     
  5. Beast

    Beast I do what I want

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    You should still have the code in hidden tags. I probably confused you with what I said. When I have more time to sit down i will give you a review.
     
  6. MewtwoHidden

    MewtwoHidden My Hax Makes Me Famous

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    ^@ I Did what you said kk
     
  7. Fuzzysqurl

    Fuzzysqurl baa baa mareep I do what I want Server Owner Developer I do what I want Server Owner Developer

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    http://pokemon-online.eu/forums/sho...der-to-help-me&p=230328&viewfull=1#post230328

    If English is not your first language, please ask for some assistance, otherwise, there are many issues still not addressed that should be.

    EDIT 1: Capitalization. Your "info" lines all pretty much start with a lower cased letter. The server's automatically generated ones start with a capital. You have various references to other roles, that are lower cased also. Proper nouns = capitalized
     
    Last edited: Dec 8, 2012
  8. MewtwoHidden

    MewtwoHidden My Hax Makes Me Famous

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    Ok by mass opinion by Both Fuzzy and Narshen I have fixed some minor grammar in the code
     
  9. Tesla Elesa

    Tesla Elesa Almost Quality

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    Okay, taking a gander at this theme:
    • Goku is OP, even more so in small games.
    • Oh, and take out "~Player~" from Goku's kill message if you want him to not reveal.
    • The Village is sorely lacking. It's pretty much vanilla with two more day commands. There's nothing special about it.
    • There is absolutely no point of giving Dr. Gero a poison limit. 99% of the time he'll never get to use all of them.
    • "Envenom" is a really awkward word, stick to poison.
    • Team sides shouldn't have a space, and should be short. Try "mafia1", "mafia2", and "mafia3".
    • Kid Buu is ehh as a reskin of Pen. I liked what you had in the Critique thread.
    • A mayor on every side is excessive.

    Flavour is really weak, I'm afraid. As a person who knows nothing about DBZ except for OVER 9000!!!!111, I didn't get a feel as to what the show is at all. Give a sentence or two of exposition for each character, who they are, what they've done, and tie that into their commands. That little touch of atmosphere can go a long way.

    I suggest taking this over to Theme Critique. It's obviously nowhere near done yet imo, and in its current state would just be rejected by everyone. I understand this is your first theme (good job), and that you've worked hard, and that you're anxious to play it; however, realize that we have dozens of themes in Mafia Review that have been up here for months and are nowhere close to approval yet. And they're all well coded; they just aren't catching anyone's eye. We have 30+ themes on the server right now, and if we accepted all of the themes that were just well-coded, let's just say it wouldn't be good. No, what we need are themes that are special, creative, and entirely deserve their spot on the /themeinfo list. Standards, I'm afraid, are rather high right now.

    Might I suggest taking a certain mechanic and expanding upon it? That just might be the easiest way to make your theme stand out. For DBZ I can see daykills working really well for this. Like, really really well. Why stop at 2? Give one to every team or something. That would sure make things a lot more frantic and exciting. What would really wow me is if you were able to do this without making it into a killfest. Like daykills, but with strategy. That would be impressive.

    EDIT: Found the Critique thread
    You have some pretty good ideas for roles in there. Might want to add them in.
     
    Last edited: Dec 8, 2012
  10. Beast

    Beast I do what I want

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    I am going to agree with Tesla.

    The balance in the theme doesn't seem to work at all. I feel like the village doesn't have any chance to win.

    I would also like to point out that you JSON is no longer valid. Each time you update your theme you need to put it through the theme checkers again. You need to fix that before I will further my review. :)
     
  11. MewtwoHidden

    MewtwoHidden My Hax Makes Me Famous

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    So Goku is OP but his team has no chance to win?
     
  12. MewtwoHidden

    MewtwoHidden My Hax Makes Me Famous

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  13. Li Q. Assir

    Li Q. Assir Mindblower

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    Hello MewtwoMaster!! Here are my thoughts on the current pastebin version:

    - Goku's message says he has 3 votes, but the code says he only has 2.

    - ~Role~ doesn't work for daykill message. Please, remove it from Goku and Frieza's

    - Piccolo's help text says he gets reveal on Gohan, but it is coded that he knows Bulma from the begining. Same for Gohan: he knows... Gohan (?) from the begining.

    - What is the point on giving a good guy (Mr. Buu) startup reveal on a bad guy (Kid Buu)? They can simply scream it on main chat and get them outvoted, mainly because Mr. Buu is Mayor.

    - It's said nowhere that Dr. Gero's poison kills after 2 days, instead of 1.

    - Why does Cell, Android #18 and Android #17 don't have team reveal, while another teammate, Dr. Gero, does? It just distrubs this team gameplay.

    - It should be said on Android #18 and Cell's info/help that they can outspeed protection.

    - ^ this leads us to another point: 2 max priority kills (one ignores distractors) on a single team is extremely OP!

    - Androids #17 and #18 "info" are incomplete.

    - Frieza's daykill should have "AnyButTeam" as target. Just to prevent some (troll or lacking attention) teamkills.

    - ^ Same for Cooler, which is even worse, known that his help text even says that he can kill his teammates (even if it's said it's not a good thing to do)

    - Zarbon's help text: "...protect him with /safeguard!". Protect and Safeguard are different commands. You should reorganize this sentence.

    - Zarbon also has no way to win a game, if he is the last team member standing.

    - ^ Same for Kid Buu, which fake exposes are limited to few roles that appear only once per game, which restricts a lot his possibilities.

    - Babidi, being able to convert his teammates (it should also be said that there is a fail chance for this command), could do lots of harm for his team...

    - ...because BuuMafia has absolutely no way to connect. FriezaMafia also can't connect safely. There should be some ways for these teams to connect: hax, inspection, unability to harm teammates...

    - Hercule does not win ALL the time, he can't win with BuuMafia. It should be said on his info and help text his vote counts as 2.

    - The info texts should be a small description of every action the role does and theis (winning) side(s).

    - Please, fix the grammar: Fuzzy already pointed some things.

    - In a game with 8/9 people, village is extremely OP.

    - The BGs on games with 12 people or less are completely useless, becuase the priorities of the kills are higher than BG's.

    - The game is lacking villagers on the spawn lists. PRfests are not good.

    - There should be a "villageCantLoseRoles" list.

    - I agree with Tesla that the flavour is weak. I don't know Dragon Ball characters, I was lost with the roles. The flavour on the help texts are not enough for (at least me) to understand the flavour.[/HIDE]

    Considering everything said, I'll reject [1] till the things I pointed are solved.
     
  14. MewtwoHidden

    MewtwoHidden My Hax Makes Me Famous

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    Updated To Do List
    http://pastebin.com/D7LVZs9c

    Also For Now DO NOT use the INFO LIST I'm to lazy to update it now but it will be updated
     
  15. Katia

    Katia Haxy Haxy!

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    "help": "Prove that you are stronger then your brother Frieza! Type /kill to kill someone even the mighty Frieza himself! (that would be a bad decision, though...)",

    Just no. I would really prefer if you would just get rid of this text.

    Next I really dislike converter roles that can convert anyone since that can completely destroy a team with a lucky convert.

    This needs more work before I can even think of approving it.
     
  16. MewtwoHidden

    MewtwoHidden My Hax Makes Me Famous

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    Ok Im too lazy to fix anymore today so I will simply wait until tommorow
     
  17. Katia

    Katia Haxy Haxy!

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    Decline [2] for inactivity.
     
  18. citro

    citro CRYING LIGHTNING

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    This theme's JSON still isn't valid!! You should probably fix it before you ask for QC to review it again :x I'd go through and correct it with http://jsonlint.com/.
     
  19. Roild

    Roild Member

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    Hello there! Let's do this. :3. Roles summary would be nice for people to understand all of your individual roles.

    First off, your JSON is appearing as incorrect. You should check and fix the code.
    Your roles are relatively basic. A bg, inspector, PL, exposer. Mayor has some additional votes, but so do a lot of the other mafia groups. Goku is a pretty strong role to begin with. It feels that the village might be under powered if they have to rely on Goku and Mr. Buu.

    Dr. Gero says
    You should re-word this into poison someone every night instead.
    Android #18 says
    but he isn't coded that way.
    FriezaMafia not knowing each other might be a problem in larger games. Considering Zarbon is the only person who can connect, you might want to to include that in the help.
    You can make Kid Buu's expose a little easier to type by using an easier command than expose1/2/3. Adding some diversity to his expose (more roles) might also be helpful.

    Your helps and infos could have more punctuation and capitalization. Examples:
    Vegeta
    Gohan
    Villager
    Cell
    There are many more. Almost every role is missing a period in the help or info.

    Your spawn list could be fixed a lot. In games of 8, there is only one mafia role. And Goku would be completely OP. The game can only host a max of 23. If you increase the cap to ~30, that'd be better for peak times.
    [/HIDE]

    I also feel like the flavor could be a lot better than what it is currently. You could also use more interesting roles for DBZ. It's DBZ! It should be more epic than what it is currently. Tesla did have a good idea with trying to have daykills with strategy. For now, I'll have to Decline [3].
     
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2013
  20. Beast

    Beast I do what I want

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    This isn't even the right one you should all be reviewing. I would like this one to be locked since there is already another DBZ thread started by the same user. Also, all the Declines in here don't really count.

    http://pokemon-online.eu/forums/showthread.php?18384-DBZ <-actual one that needs to be reviewed.
     
  21. citro

    citro CRYING LIGHTNING

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    Yeah this was cleared up. We're reviewing the other thread right now, so someone can lock this I suppose
     
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