PreSkool

Discussion in 'Review' started by Karp Karpity, Sep 15, 2012.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Karp Karpity

    Karp Karpity Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2012
    Messages:
    152
    Likes Received:
    29
    PO Trainer Name:
    Karp Karpity
    It is a great theme up to 40 people can play. There are preschoolers which are villies. Letters which are good and bad prs. A fire alarm, which can kill people during the day. A petsnake which can convert. A preschooler that can convert to an angry preschooler. A bully which can kill 2 peopel during the night. A parent which has a -4 vote. A principle that has a 5 vote. A book that is a taunter, and is sided with no one. A KarpMafia which should be eliminated right away, and some preschool stuff such as toys and the building which has a 0 vote.

    Here's the theme called PreSkool


    {
    "name": "Preschool",
    "author": "Karp Karpity",
    "summary": "Welcome to Preschool. Time to learn how to win at preschool. Good Luck and Have Fun. If you want a new theme added or spot a bug P.M. KarpKarpity he'll gladly add/fix it.",
    "sides": [
    {
    "side": "village",
    "translation": "consonants"
    },
    {
    "side": "vowels",
    "translation": "vowels"
    },
    {
    "side": "KarpMafia",
    "translation": "Karp Mafia"
    },
    {
    "side": "LittleKid",
    "translation": "Little Kid"
    },
    {
    "side": "Fire Alarm",
    "translation": "Fire Alarm"
    },
    {
    "side": "Pet snake",
    "translation": "Pet snake"
    },
    {
    "side": "Preskool Gang",
    "translation": "Preskool Gang"
    }
    ],
    "roles": [
    {
    "role": "A",
    "translation": "A",
    "side": "village",
    "help": "You're an A, use /kill to defeat your opposition.",
    "info": "the killer of the vowels",
    "actions": {
    "night": {
    "kill": {
    "target": "AnyButTeam",
    "common": "Team",
    "priority": 12,
    "broadcast": "team"
    }
    },
    "startup": "team-reveal"
    }
    },
    {
    "role": "preschooler",
    "translation": "Preschooler",
    "side": "Consonants",
    "help": "Welcome to school. Since you're only a preschooler, you can only vote during the day",
    "info": "A villy",
    "actions": {}
    },
    {
    "role": "Preschooler",
    "translation": "Preschooler",
    "side": "Consonants",
    "help": "Welcome to school. Sice you're only a preschooler, you can only vote during the day",
    "info": "A villy",
    "actions": {}
    },
    {
    "role": "Preschooler",
    "translation": "Preschooler",
    "side": "Consonants",
    "help": "Welcome to school. Since you're only a preschooler, you can only vote during the day",
    "info": "A villy",
    "actions": {}
    },
    {
    "role": "E",
    "translation": "E",
    "side": "village",
    "help": "You're an E, use /distract to distract someone.",
    "info": "the distractor of the vowels",
    "actions": {
    "night": {
    "distract": {
    "target": "AnyButSelf",
    "common": "Self",
    "priority": 1,
    "distractmsg": "an E showed up, you're too busy playing with it to kill.",
    "teammsg": "your teammate was too busy playing with the E, you decided not to kill anyone that night."
    }
    },
    "startup": "team-reveal"
    }
    },
    {
    "role": "Preschooler",
    "translation": "Preschooler",
    "side": "Consonants",
    "help": "Welcome to school. Since you're only a preschooler, you can vote during the day.",
    "info": "A villy",
    "actions": {}
    },
    {
    "role": "Preschooler",
    "translation": "Preschooler",
    "side": "Consonants",
    "help": "Welcome to school. Since you're only a preschooler, you can vote during the day.",
    "info": "A villy",
    "actions": {}
    },
    {
    "role": "Preschooler",
    "translation": "Preschooler",
    "side": "Consonants",
    "help": "Welcome to school. Since you're only as preschooler, you can vote during the day.",
    "info": "A villy",
    "actions": {}
    },
    {
    "role": "I",
    "translation": "I",
    "side": "village",
    "help": "You're an I, use /inspect to inspect someone.",
    "info": "the inspector of the vowels",
    "actions": {
    "night": {
    "inspect": {
    "target": "AnyButSelf",
    "common": "Self",
    "priority": 30
    }
    },
    "startup": "team-reveal"
    }
    },
    {
    "role": "J",
    "translation": "J",
    "side": "Consonants",
    "help": "You're a J, use /kill during the day to kill someone. You will be revealed however, so be warned.",
    "info": "the samurai of the consonants",
    "actions": {
    "standby": {
    "kill": {
    "target": "AnyButSelf",
    "killmsg": "~Player~ (~Role~) plunges a hand into ~Player~ (~Role~) heart. He will be no more, the J cackles."
    }
    }
    }
    },
    {
    "role": "Preschooler",
    "translation": "Preschooler",
    "side": "Consonants",
    "help": "Welcome to school. Since you're only a preschooler, vote during the day.",
    "info": "A villy",
    "actions": {}
    },
    {
    "role": "Preschooler",
    "translation": "Preschooler",
    "side": "Consonants",
    "help": "Welcome to school. Since you're only a preschooler, vote during the day",
    "info": "A villy",
    "actions": {}
    },
    {
    "role": "Preschooler",
    "translation": "Preschooler",
    "side": "Consonants",
    "help": "Welcome to school. Since you're only a preschooler, vote during the day.",
    "info": "A villy",
    "actions": {}
    },
    {
    "role": "Preschooler",
    "translation": "Preschooler",
    "side": "Consonants",
    "help": "Welcome to school. Since you're only a preschooler, vote during the day.",
    "info": "A villy",
    "actions": {}
    },
    {
    "role": "O",
    "translation": "O",
    "side": "village",
    "help": "You're an O, use /protect to protect someone.",
    "info": "the protector of the vowels",
    "actions": {
    "night": {
    "protect": {
    "target": "AnyButSelf",
    "common": "Role",
    "priority": 5,
    "broadcast": "role"
    }
    },
    "startup": "team-reveal"
    }
    },
    {
    "role": "Preschooler",
    "translation": "Preschooler",
    "side": "Consonants",
    "help": "Welcome to school. Since you're only a preschooler, vote during the day.",
    "info": "A villy",
    "actions": {}
    },
    {
    "role": "Q",
    "translation": "Q",
    "side": "Consonants",
    "help": "You're a Q, use /distract to distract someone.",
    "info": "the distractor of the consonants",
    "actions": {
    "night": {
    "distract": {
    "target": "AnyButSelf",
    "common": "Self",
    "priority": 1,
    "distractmsg": "a Q showed up, you're too busy playing with it to kill.",
    "teammsg": "your teammate was too busy playing with the Q, you decided not to kill anyone that night."
    }
    }
    }
    },
    {
    "role": "R",
    "translation": "R",
    "side": "Consonants",
    "help": "You may get hax because you snoop in the criminals hideout.",
    "info": "The spy of the consonents",
    "actions": {
    "hax": {
    "kill": {
    "revealTeam": 0.2,
    "revealPlayer": 0.05
    }
    }
    }
    },
    {
    "role": "S",
    "translation": "S",
    "side": "Consonants",
    "help": "You're an S, use /inspect to inspect someone.",
    "info": "the inspector of the consonants",
    "actions": {
    "night": {
    "inspect": {
    "target": "AnyButSelf",
    "common": "Self",
    "priority": 30
    }
    }
    }
    },
    {
    "role": "Preschooler",
    "translation": "Preschooler",
    "side": "Consonants",
    "help": "Welcome to school. Since you're a preschooler, vote during the day",
    "info": "A villy",
    "actions": {}
    },
    {
    "role": "U",
    "translation": "U",
    "side": "village",
    "help": "You're a U, use /poison to poison someone.",
    "info": "the poisoner of the vowels",
    "actions": {
    "night": {
    "poison": {
    "target": "AnyButSelf",
    "common": "Role",
    "priority": 40,
    "broadcast": "none",
    "limit": 2,
    "count": 1
    }
    },
    "startup": "team-reveal"
    }
    },
    {
    "role": "V",
    "translation": "V",
    "side": "Consonants",
    "help": "You're a V, use /protect to protect someone.",
    "info": "the protector of the Consonants",
    "actions": {
    "night": {
    "protect": {
    "target": "AnyButSelf",
    "common": "Role",
    "priority": 5,
    "broadcast": "role"
    }
    }
    }
    },
    {
    "role": "W",
    "translation": "W",
    "side": "Consonants",
    "help": "You're a W, use /safeguard to protect someone from anything but kills.",
    "info": "the safeguarder of the Consonants",
    "actions": {
    "night": {
    "safeguard": {
    "target": "AnyButSelf",
    "common": "Role",
    "priority": 2,
    "broadcast": "none"
    }
    }
    }
    },
    {
    "role": "Preschooler",
    "translation": "Preschooler",
    "side": "Consonants",
    "help": "Welcome to school. Since you're a preschooler, vote during the day.",
    "info": "A villy",
    "actions": {}
    },
    {
    "role": "Y",
    "translation": "Y",
    "side": "village",
    "winningSides": "*",
    "help": "kill whoever you want.",
    "info": "Conspirator",
    "actions": {
    "night": {
    "kill": {
    "target": "AnyButSelf",
    "common": "Self",
    "priority": 15
    }
    }
    }
    },
    {
    "role": "Peschooler",
    "translation": "preschooler",
    "side": "Consonants",
    "help": "You're angry because you have to go to school. Type /evolve after the third night, and you will have a +2 vote.",
    "info": "An angry preschooler",
    "actions": {
    "night": {
    "convert": {
    "target": "self",
    "common": "self",
    "priority": 28,
    "NewRole": {
    "Angry Preschooler": [
    "Angry Preschooler"
    ],
    "convertmsg": "A preschooler is enraged. He's now an angry preschooler with a +2 vote."
    }
    }
    }
    }
    },
    {
    "role": "KarpKarpity",
    "translation": "Karp Karpity",
    "side": "KarpMafia",
    "help": "type /kill once during standby to kill someone. You can also type /reveal to reveal someones identity.",
    "actions": {
    "standby": {
    "kill": {
    "target": "AnyButSelf",
    "killmsg": "KarpKarpity has a poisoned dagger, and he knows how to use it. KarpKarpity used Lock-On, so he can't miss. His next move was to poison ~Player~ (~Role~). KarpKarpity got one victim closer to winning."
    },
    "reveal": {
    "target": "AnyButSelf",
    "revealmsg": "~Player~ (~Role~) gets the room all dark. Unfortunately, ~Player~ (~Role~) glowed so their role is now known forever."
    }
    },
    "startup": "team-reveal"
    }
    },
    {
    "role": "KarpBomb",
    "translation": "Karp Bomb",
    "side": "KarpMafia",
    "help": "If you die, the person that killed you is dead.",
    "actions": {
    "kill": {
    "mode": "killattacker"
    },
    "startup": "team-reveal"
    }
    },
    {
    "role": "Karp",
    "translation": "Karp",
    "side": "KarpMafia",
    "help": "Help the Karp side win with your awesome +1 vote",
    "info": "a villy that is on the Karp Mafia.",
    "actions": {
    "startup": "team-reveal"
    }
    },
    {
    "role": "LittleKid",
    "translation": "Little Kid",
    "side": "LittleKid",
    "help": "Use your 100 votes to vote off someone",
    "info": "A Little Kid that hates the alphabet",
    "actions": {
    "vote": 100
    }
    },
    {
    "role": "Principle",
    "translation": "Principle",
    "side": "consonants",
    "help": "you have +5 votes, so use them wisely.",
    "actions": {
    "vote": 5
    }
    },
    {
    "role": "parent",
    "translation": "parent",
    "side": "consonants",
    "help": "Your a parent of a preschooler. Since you protect them, you have a -4 vote.",
    "actions": {
    "vote": -4
    }
    },
    {
    "role": "Fire Alarm",
    "translation": "Fire Alarm",
    "side": "Fire Alarm",
    "help": "Since you cast a deafening sound type /kill once during the night(unrevealed), and once during the day(revealed) to kill other people.",
    "actions": {
    "night": {
    "kill": {
    "target": "AnyButSelf"
    }
    },
    "standby": {
    "kill": "AnyButSelf",
    "killmsg": "A loud deafening noise suddenly happened. ~Player~ (~Role~) made ~Player~ (~Role~) have hearing loss, and then it finally killed him."
    }
    }
    },
    {
    "role": "Building",
    "translation": "school",
    "side": "consonants",
    "help": "Your the school. Since all you do is have people learning in you, you have a zero vote.",
    "actions": {
    "vote": 0
    }
    },
    {
    "role": "Toys",
    "translation": "toys",
    "side": "consonants",
    "help": "Since you lay around, you have a zero vote.",
    "actions": {
    "vote": 0
    }
    },
    {
    "role": "Pet Snake",
    "translation": "Pet snake",
    "side": "pet snake",
    "help": "If you want to be stronger, use /starve after the fifth night to be able to kill once during the night and once during the day. You also double your vote from one to two.",
    "actions": {
    "night": {
    "kill": {
    "target": "AnyButSelf"
    },
    "convert": {
    "target": "self",
    "common": "self",
    "priority": 29,
    "newrole": {
    "ViciousSnake": [
    "ViciousSnake"
    ],
    "convertmsg": "Youletthesnakestarve.Sincethesnakesistarving,heturnedintoavicioussnake.Ithasa+2vote,andcankillonceduringthenight,andonceduringtheday(revealed)."
    }
    },
    "standby": {
    "kill": {
    "target": "AnyButSelf",
    "killmsg": "~Player~(~Role~)attacked.~Player~(~Role~)blackedoutfrompoisonfromthesnake'sfangs.",
    "vote": 2
    }
    }
    }
    }
    },
    {
    "role": "Bully",
    "translation": "Bully",
    "side": "PreskoolGang",
    "help": "Use/killtwiceduringthedaytokilltwopeople.",
    "actions": {
    "night": {
    "kill": "anybutself"
    }
    }
    },
    {
    "role": "Book",
    "translation": "Book",
    "side": "*",
    "help": "Revealyourselfbecauseyoucan'tdie.Youroneveryonesteam.Thewaytorevealis/appear.",
    "actions": {
    "standby": {
    "appear": {
    "command": "reveal",
    "revealmsg": "Onceuponatime,therewasawitch.Thewitchwasveryscary.Youcantgoon,so~Self~(~Role~)tellsyoutoshutitordie."
    }
    }
    }
    }
    ],
    "roles1": [
    "A",
    "J",
    "E",
    "Q",
    "I",
    "S",
    "O",
    "V",
    "U",
    "W",
    "Y"
    ],
    "roles2": [
    "A",
    "Preschooler",
    "Preschooler",
    "Preschooler",
    "E",
    "Preschooler",
    "Preschooler",
    "Preschooler",
    "I",
    "J",
    "Preschooler",
    "Preschooler",
    "Preschooler",
    "Preschooler",
    "O",
    "Preschooler",
    "Q",
    "R",
    "S",
    "Preschooler",
    "U",
    "V",
    "W",
    "Preschooler",
    "W",
    "Preschooler",
    "KarpKarpity",
    "KarpBomb",
    "Karp",
    "LittleKid",
    "Principle",
    "Parent",
    "FireAlarm",
    "Building",
    "Toys",
    "Petsnake",
    "Bully",
    "Book"
    ],
    "villageCantLoseRoles": [
    "J",
    "Q",
    "S",
    "V"
    ],
    "killmsg": "Teacher: ~Player~(~Role~)fainted!",
    "killusermsg": "Youfainted!"
    }
     
  2. Wiljuice

    Wiljuice Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2012
    Messages:
    41
    Likes Received:
    0
    There are a lot of spelling and grammatical errors I could go over but I'm not going to hold that against you, and I can help you edit those if you would so like.

    I like the ideas for a few of the roles, but I personally don't like the "theme," if you know what I mean? Usually the themes are something people can relate to, and I just don't see our Mafia community going batshitcrazy over a preschool theme. The concept of some of your sides and how they connect also confuse me. I think if you reskinned this into something different, it would possibly be more favored. But please don't take my word into your final decision, I'm just trying to give you some criticism from my personal vantage point.

    I would give my opinion on the actual roles, sides, etc., but I feel like there are people a lot more suited for that than me. I'm more into the flavour and style of themes as far as critiquing.

    (Also, your code should really be in
    tags pl0x)
     
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2012
  3. Karp Karpity

    Karp Karpity Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2012
    Messages:
    152
    Likes Received:
    29
    PO Trainer Name:
    Karp Karpity
    k ty i'll fix it Ill wait til there are at least 3 comments
     
  4. Zzyzx Road

    Zzyzx Road Member

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2012
    Messages:
    572
    Likes Received:
    2
    PO Trainer Name:
    Zzyzx Road
    also wrap the theme code around
    tags
     
  5. Xinc

    Xinc Time for Oras?

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2011
    Messages:
    1,569
    Likes Received:
    14
    Please use
    . And give a general summary for those who aren't code-literate. c(:
     
  6. Scatterbrain

    Scatterbrain You only live once*

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2012
    Messages:
    865
    Likes Received:
    4
    I appreciate the concept of this theme; however, the fact that inanimate objects such as vowels being able to suffer from kills, and the fact that there are killers AND kids in the same theme will no doubt stir up a lot of controversy.

    I also want to let you know that the "help" and "info" attributes are extremely abnormal; for "info", you would usually put "Can (insert action) (limit of people) during the (day phase). Sided with the (Side). And reveal/expose are two different commands; the former reveals the user, usually for connecting PRs or like conspirators. Expose is a different one: it reveals someone's role/name/only the role name (in the case of Dysprosium from Elements), and not always the user of the "expose" command. Also, you do NOT have to put the same role over and over again. Just put it once. Then, you can add that role into roles1 / roles2 etc. because they function as a spawn list.

    Next, I would like to add that I have found you haven't added such strings like "priority", "common", "target", etc. to some roles' actions. Thankfully, the theme isn't invalid in JSON, however, if you copy+paste the theme into the good 'ol Mafia Checker you will notice a HUGE amount of fatal and minor errors. But before you go into that, I would like you to check out the good 'ol Theme Creating Tutorial.

    Finally, there are an abundance of errors here, as well as common signs of re-skin. Also, you should use the Spacebar more often. Trust me, it helps.
     
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2012
  7. Karp Karpity

    Karp Karpity Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2012
    Messages:
    152
    Likes Received:
    29
    PO Trainer Name:
    Karp Karpity
  8. Scatterbrain

    Scatterbrain You only live once*

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2012
    Messages:
    865
    Likes Received:
    4
    Would you perhaps like me to help improve your theme?
     
  9. SteelEdges

    SteelEdges The Poll Dancer

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2011
    Messages:
    462
    Likes Received:
    59
    You already posted this once. Like the last time, you clearly did not read the guidelines where it states to have the theme checked for errors.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.